Christmas Past - The Gift

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Here we are again, recognizing the completion of another year and the
anticipation of the next year. For many individuals, December has held
excitement, joy, the blessings of love and family. Such a wonderful time
for coming together in celebration. For many people on the planet however,
the holiday season holds the memory of being alone, disappointment, crushed
feelings, forgotten promises or hurtful expectations. These last emotions
have all resulted in a feeling of great sadness. Do you wonder why this time
of year should generate such heightened sadness? Perhaps knowing that these
feelings are universal, may provide insight in how this emotion plays out in
your own life. How did the consciousness of sadness become so enormous?
What was its source? By sharing a profound incident, we encourage each of
you to look beyond the experience and believe that nothing is truly as it
appears to be. There is always the disguised blessing, the GIFT, though
often the experience of learning can push you beyond what your previous
knowing thinks it can allow.

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THE CONSCIOUSNESS OF SADNESS - Nancy's story
Sadness - the consciousness itself is overwhelming in depth of emotion. Each
of us in some facet of our lives, feels the emotion of sadness. How deep
this feeling of sadness had permeated the Universe became quite clear to me
when I became curious and determined to follow it in June of 2003. Ken and
I had been teaching a Heart & Soul Practitioner Training Course in a
wonderful mansion in Denver, Colorado. The previous owner of this mansion,
before donating it to a spiritual research society, had painted the walls
with ornate depictions of angels, Buddha, Christian and Egyptian replicas
and other historical symbolism from various belief systems. During
practitioner training, there are numerous experiential exercises, designed
to assist the trainee students to become acutely aware of various emotional
energetics. In this way, they learn instinctively, intuitively and
empathically the feelings behind emotions, not just for themselves, but for
anyone that may come to them for a healing session. On one particular day
towards the end of the course, Ken was discussing the important cycles of
belief systems throughout history and the many events that represented and
triggered an awakening of people on the planet. One of the greatest was the
life and death of Jesus the Christ. Many, many people alive today, when
hypnotized or in a meditative/slight trance state, have seen or felt
themselves as part of the group surrounding Jesus at the time of the
crucifixion. They have knowing experiences that on some level, they were a
part of that event. What they may have done is to tap into the
Jesus-consciousness. (Not specifically the Christ consciousness, although
here in the Western world many would argue that the Christ consciousness can
only be the Jesus consciousness). Ancient scriptures tell us that the
Christ consciousness is based upon the meaning of Christ as The One. So, in
actuality, Buddha was also the Christ, Allah was the Christ, Jesus was the
Christ; each belief system having its own Christ consciousness.

One student practitioner was not available for the exercise and Ken asked me
to partner with another student. We were requested to invoke the
consciousness of Jesus; to feel how the energetics changed in the room and
become aware of the effect upon ourselves. When he asked me to participate
however, something inside cautioned me to be careful. I was hesitant. Little
did I know at that time how far this energy would take me! Ken relates that
he was quite aware that by asking me to invoke this particular
consciousness, something powerful would occur. He knew that this experience
was important for classroom teaching.

I lay down upon the massage table and called into my being, the collective
consciousness of Jesus. The energy transported me immediately back to the
time of the crucifixion. I had been there many times in the past; however
this time, I felt more than just the consciousness of Jesus. As the crowd
watched Jesus upon the cross, heard His last breath and witnessed His death,
I felt the enormity of the emotion left behind. The feeling of sadness was
all that could be identified. No one felt accomplished. No one felt praise
at that time for the experience being taught. The message of Jesus: to not
fear death, to always know love, to BE ONE with all there is, was not
evident. The only emotion I felt was sadness. This feeling completely
surrounded me. Heavy upon my body, I felt myself withdrawing from the
weight, going further inside myself to get away from it. It would not let
go. I could not let it go.

At that moment, I recognized and understood the source of this powerful
consciousness. I felt I had actually become the consciousness of sadness.
Quiet tears ran down my cheeks. The student with whom I had partnered felt
awful! He thought he had not skillfully released the energetic pattern;
what he had been training with and working on for days. How could I explain
that while everyone else in the room felt the consciousness of Jesus, felt
the power of that energy, I went from that consciousness directly to
sadness? How could I share with him my feelings without scaring him half to
death? This was after all, a classroom exercise like each of the ones over
all the past days. Each exercises calls in a particular energetic pattern
and the students are trained in releasing those patterns. Practitioners are
then instructed to allow energy to continue moving so it does not become
trapped or stuck. Ken's Heart & Soul Healing T technique has proven with
thousands upon thousands of people around the world, that energy patterns
follow us around like magnets for lifetimes and yet, are released in a
moment!

Ken instructed everyone to use a 3-breath technique to clear the vibration
in the room.This breath pattern can re-center you, re-engage you within the
moment, and clear any energy from your field. On that particular day
however, the breath technique was not conscious with me, as I felt a part
was still hanging. I felt disconnected, not fully present. It was the end of
that day's training session. I tried to smile at the students, praise them
for their good work, their persistence and hard efforts. But it was not
really me. I was just going through the motions. I was not really there. As
everyone filed out of the mansion, Ken and I prepared to return to the next
door cottage where we were staying. Always in working with through the
years, it has been our custom to shower or bathe as quickly as we can, to
clear any energetics holding our clothes, our skin. I told him Ken I was
cold, very cold. He knew I was processing something. He took a quick shower
and then turned on the hot bath water for me. I closed the door behind me,
lit a candle and got into the tub, allowing the water to wrap itself around
me. I felt so alone, so overwhelmingly sad. I wanted to rid this feeling
from myself. I began to sob, racking sobs that seemed to come from someone
else, from somewhere outside myself. I cried for my two sons who had died,
for all the mothers in the world who had ever lost a child, ever buried a
child. I wept for the end of a vision, a dream. I sobbed for what seemed
like hours, then crawled into bed. Ken asked several times if I was okay
and I answered yes. Surely, some part of me was still okay, although it felt
like I was caving in. He knew this was my experience. I continued to
reassure him that I was okay, but was I? Where was I? I felt lost, in some
type of abyss. The more I felt the sadness, the more sadness I invoked.
Sadness and I had become one. No longer did it seem important that I was in
partnership with Ken for he did not 'need' me, not really. It was not
important that I had children, for they were grown and did not need me. My
granddaughter was loved, cared for and did not need me. There were other
teachers, so my students did not need me. The world did not actually need
me. There was nothing I was needed to do or felt I had left to accomplish
on this earth. I had nothing to lose by leaving. So why was I even feeling
this way? I had actually died several times before, traveled to the other
side and back, so I was not afraid of death. I actually found death to be a
very healing, unique experience. So why was I even thinking of leaving
again?

Then I realized I was actually curious, where did the sadness come from?
How big was this consciousness? Could I follow it to the source and release
it from me? Could I release sadness from everyone? Could I actually have
something to do with releasing sadness from the planet? Could I? There did
not seem to be a choice. Here it was. Here I was and we were the same
consciousness at that moment.I knew I could release sadness. I knew I could
have an effect on the feeling of sadness within every single person
throughout time. I have worked with consciousness, and the collective
consciousness for many years, on many different levels. I had previous
encounters of risking everything, of even risking my own life in the
willingness to allow a consciousness to transform from being a killing to a
living energy. I was not afraid, but I surely was curious. Here was a new
challenge. What did I have to lose? So, I followed it, deeper and farther.
Ken came upstairs to check on me again. Since I often 'travel' when I sleep,
I am usually quite still. This evening seemed to be no exception. It
appeared I was sleeping peacefully.

Sadness was inside me and yet elusive. The farther I traveled on its energy
force, the deeper I went into the feeling. I reached what I call the matrix,
the cosmic weaving that is the fabric of all energy, consciousness and life
force. I reached the void, where nothing exists yet everything IS. I kept
going - deeper and farther. It would be necessary for me to completely
release all my own will to assist in the transformation of this
consciousness. Was I ready? This was a place I have known before. Each
prior time, there had not been a question or a choice. My being knew that I
was merely resting in this space, that I would return to conscious 3d
dimensional life. This time was different. I knew I was complete and
prepared. This was the first time I felt there was a choice given to me; to
remain or return. I am not aware of actually making a choice; just the
awareness that I needed to continue following this energy of sadness. I had
merged with the consciousness and as it began to move through my being, I
watched it begin to retreat. It did not want to change. It did not want to
release the souls of those it had gathered into itself. I was more
determined than ever to capture it, release it and allow it to take another
form. As I followed the energy, I felt I was traveling in a downward spiral,
deeper into the darkness of sadness. I soon found myself in a space in
between time, in between the actual slices of light that permeate each
dimensional level, in between the actual knowing and not knowing. I had
never been in this feeling space before. This was new. Where was I?

Ken relates that suddenly I had gasped, let out a breath and left my body.
He could feel no life force remaining, nothing that recalled my humanness.
He said he loudly was calling to me, asking if it was my choice to go or if
I was lost. Ken also says that this went on for quite awhile; no life force
whatsoever in my body. He continued to call my name and somewhere inside
myself, I heard him. His voice was so far away, distant, as if he was in
the back of a cavern or under water. I wanted to hear what he was saying,
yet did not know where I was. I had forgotten to leave any points of return
for myself. There was no roadmap to follow. Neither time nor space provided
any reference. I was lost on my journey, unable to find my way back.

I so wanted to share this place with Ken. I knew that something powerful
within this very space was critically important and Ken needed to know and
experience it. Ken continued to say my name, continued to command me to
repeat my name followed by his name. He was providing me a roadmap to return
if I chose. Suddenly, there he was. I felt his energy come to me and ask if
I was staying or returning. As one creator to another, I knew he would honor
my choice. Nothing within my being felt the need to stay. I pulled away from
the space towards Ken and took a breath into my physical body. I do not know
how long I was on the other side. The entire experience had seemed to last
only a brief moment, yet Ken says it was almost one half hour. I began to
feel the room around me again and slowly, to feel my body. It was so heavy,
even breathing was difficult. Ken continued to direct me to breathe, to
move, to be present, to be aware of myself, of him and of my reality.

Speaking was difficult. Words would not come out of my mouth. Breathing was
laboriously hard. I wanted to tell Ken about what I had experienced, yet he
was angry at me for leaving and could not listen. He kept asking me how I
could have left without at least saying good bye or telling him what I was
doing, or had thought of doing. He was really 'pissed' at me and would not
even talk to me! I had hurt his feelings and knew this experience would
need to be processed by each of us. We needed time to allow ourselves to
feel it and be with it. I fell into a deep sleep for the rest of the
evening. The next day we taught another class. I shared part of the
experience of risking everything to follow a consciousness. The full story
could not yet be told since I was not even sure how to explain what had
occurred; not then. After class, Ken and I talked a little about the
evening before. He was still upset and I was still withdrawn. I was quite
tired, yet again that evening a recurring pattern occurred. For several
previous nights, I would awaken from sleep nearly every hour and look around
as if I had to make sure everything was okay. I would check the house, feel
the energy of the space and tune in on Ken's whereabouts (he also travels
when he is sleeping). Then I would go back to sleep, only to re-awaken and
repeat the same patter, over and over again. I had told Ken about my
pattern of guarding and my feeling that I was having to guard a space. We
both wondered what it meant, since we felt quite safe in the cottage and the
teaching work was going well. Even after my leaving and returning, I again
began guarding a space for the evening.

The next day we taught the final training class. Throughout the course,
various volunteers are used for demonstration and teaching. On the last day,
Ken asks the students themselves to perform an entire full session of Heart
& Soul Healing for outside volunteers. I was feeling lighter, easily moving
into the space of working with energy, teaching, helping. We said good bye
to the new practitioners. I felt myself relax - the course completed and a
day off! We were scheduled to continue working in Denver but this evening
was one in which we could watch television, visit, have supper and chill
out. We talked a little more about my experience, about my feelings of
guarding and I was really looking forward to a good nights rest without
interruption. Falling asleep, I soon again began guarding a space. I knew
Ken was asleep - traveling and working. The energy around the room was
swirling, moving, colorful. Bright neon colors of blues and purples.
Something unique was happening. What? I fell back into my restless sleep,
not knowing that Ken was, at that time, completing my puzzle by helping to
place the last piece.

The next morning, I told Ken I had again been guarding all night. Then he
shared his lucid dreaming travel with me. He related that when he had come
to find me, to get me from the space in between light, that he had had a new
experience in that space. Just as I related I was in the space between time,
he said he had never traveled to that particular space and yet he knew
instinctively, as did I, that it held something worth exploring. That
evening, while I stood guard over the space, Ken traveled within it and
found millions of lost souls - lost into their own sadness, trapped in that
consciousness, not knowing how to get out. They could not find their way
home - back to God. Most of those souls had tapped into the consciousness of
Jesus at some point in their lives and had felt abandoned or unworthy. They
had prayed to Jesus for something to occur, for someone to be cured, for
prayers to be answered. When they did not receive any 'answer' to their
prayers, they felt abandoned, alone and tapped into the consciousness of
sadness. Many of them died holding onto their sadness.

When I moved into the space - the location of these trapped souls and Ken
came to find me, he was able to re-trace his 'steps' to easily return and
free these souls, helping each one of them back to God, Source. I acted as
a light beacon by guarding the location, to ensure that all the souls would
be located, that none would be left behind.

This was only one location - there are hundreds more locations where souls
who died within the consciousness of sadness are held, trapped in their own
energetics - unable to feel the freedom that physical death can offer.
Having this occur was one of the high points for me in this physical
lifetime. I had actually helped to change the consciousness of sadness. I
had allowed it to shift by being a timeline, a light for reference. It
surely provided a sense of accomplishment to my experience of going past the
ends of this earth!
Ken's sharing:

When I was in Australia in late 1999, Spirit asked me to help on the other
side. Spirit said because of my experiences with energy and consciousness, I
could go anywhere and help lost souls; balance the collective consciousness
that is holding the past and other stuck realities. This was preventing new
creation. As I traveled to find Nancy, I saw thousands of trapped souls,
stuck in all kinds of sadness. This is very often a confused, deep
consciousness. I believe it is the way the human consciousness on earth
feels, chaotic and deeply sad. Traveling to that location between time and
space, I found many time bubbles of old souls, stuck together in a tragedy
or disaster that had resulted in great sadness. The further I traveled into
the consciousness of sadness, the more complex the energy became. The only
way out was to Become what was holding these lost souls. Compassion can
change and transform struggle into liquid light, allowing us to help and
free those pieces of ourselves that forget. Once those souls were free, I
began traveling from one place to another, leaving markers so other souls
could follow, if they chose.
I believe the greatest GIFT we can give each other, one creator to another,
is a choice. Often this choice has never before been realized. What we must
let go of however, is how that choice ought to look or be for others.
Helping to bring about the awareness of choice for another soul, and letting
go of any expectation in that choice, allows for a new space where miracles
can happen.

This Christmas, we would like to give you a GIFT. Each Christmas past holds
a memory, good or sad. Some of you may even hold the memory of one Christmas
that was truly wonderful, often comparing each following Christmas season.
The holding on to that memory can bring about disappointment, resulting in
the emotion of sadness. This holiday season, let go of ALL memories of
Christmas past. http://www.kenpage.com/thewayitworks/twiwchapter13.html
By letting go of even the good memories and allowing yourself to be present
in the moment of This Christmas for itself, you will have a choice you never had before. You will have the
choice of LOVE, the space where miracles can occur.

Blessed Holidays and Happy New Year.

copyright 2003 Ken Page

Nancy has dedicated the last 5 years in owning and operating a retail and
spiritual center in Boone, North Carolina. www.AncientWisdomBoone.com It is
a wonderful business with great potential. She would love to sell her old
dream and allow us to travel and work together, creating a new dream. If
you know of anyone that would be interested, please forward the link.
Inquiries may be made directly to ancientwisdom@charter.net. More
information on the locale can be found at www.boonechamber.com;
www.grandfather-mountain.com; www.goasu.appstate.edu; and www.ncskiareas.com
Thank you.

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