We Become What we Fear

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June 2003, Message from Ken -  We Become What We Fear


   A Story of Personal Reflection

   Spirit Responds - Deli’s story

   Are we Stuck?

   In the Past – or in the Now?

Practitioner Training – Denver, CO.  June 21- 25, 2003

This will be the ONLY practitioner training held on the West Coast for 2003.  There are still openings for individuals interested in learning Heart & Soul Healing™.  http://www.kenpage.com/training/mchtrainingprograms.html

If you would like to sponsor Ken Page to visit you area, please let us know.   Ken has available openings in August, September and October, 2003.   Sponsorship information can be found at: http://www.kenpage.com/sponsors/mchsponsors.html or you can call him today.

An Old Story of Personal Reflection

I believe our realities are holographic with great depth.  What this means for me is it is constantly changing.  It does not have the form it had; it’s almost liquid, new both in space and in time.  I am challenged each day by my path – looking at the Bigger Picture is somewhat overwhelming to me.  The completion of my book ‘The Heart of Soul Healing’ has been a struggle.  Despite doing everything I can to get it out, it seems to have a life of its own.  Part of the energy I believe, is that there have been so many people helping me throughout the years, each playing their own part in this process.  This becomes an important dynamic as each of the players seeks to find their own completion – people holding it, wanting the book to be their own; holding on to me through the book.  And then we get to the most important – how will the book change the collective consciousness of healing energy by the ideas of the reader?  Will cultures and religious ideas also be changed?  I believe my book allows a person to fully take their power.  ‘Heart of Soul Healing’ contains all the old mysteries and secrets surrounding the mind-body-spirit-soul connection and assists each reader find a new way of BEing on earth.  So, if in fact this book does contain that potential and possibility, is it any wonder that the energy of the past does not want that change to take place, but wishes to remain the same?  Another important part of my book is that it changes as I change – I continue writing and adding my insights.  At what time are we complete with our path?  Do we ever complete our path?    And what about – one path leading to another path, completion of one path only to begin and travel on another path)

I think by now you can see how my ideas and beliefs on creating reality are affecting the outcome.  I need to become all I can be – that is the catalyst for freeing my book, myself and maybe others.  There have been attempts at sabotage, deliberate anger, hatred, jealousy, rejection, power, control, manipulation and pure destructive energies that have been projected onto the completion of this book.

I am not a victim.  After 20 years on the same book project, you just sometimes want to say the heck with it, and go on permanent vacation; tell Spirit to shove this job.  This is how I have felt for the last 8 years.  Often I questioned why I keep working everyday – wondering why I give all of myself to an unknown reality – I feel we really can make a difference on earth.  I think the real problem is I’m ready to see it now.  This idea of patience and waiting is not in my nature.

Spirit Responds - Deli’s Story

Last month, while I was working in Maryland, I met a lady that had been writing her book.  It had taken her 36 years to be able to visit a dark period in her life!  I got very quiet, knowing that Spirit had sent me a teacher/guide.  Her story began as a young Jewish girl in Vienna, before World War II.  I listened to her happy life in Austria and the many loving stories as she recalled her youth.  As Hitler grew strong, things started to change – life as she knew it collapsed and everything her family had was taken away.  Eventually, her family and the majority of Jews were deported to concentration camps, confined to ghettos or lived in hiding.  As she continued to share the life of her family and her personal struggles, she described events that I knew from History.  But never before had I seen through another person’s eyes what she experienced, what she witnessed and what she came to be.  I pray that I understand where she got the strength to continue, just keep surviving – and yet she never got caught up in the evil and hate that surrounded her each day.  She survived several concentration camps and forced labor camps, among them Auschwitz, Flossenburg, Mauthausen and the Theresienstadt ghetto.  It is hard to imagine what this young woman went through in those places.  As I continued to listen to Deli Strummer, I realized the internal power she had found.  Torture, pain, cold, hunger, killing – everything she and her fellow prisoners went through – a lifetime of blood and tears in each moment.  At one point waiting in line, she was very close to the building that housed the gas chamber when she was liberated.  She continued with the sharing of her story – finding her way back home, eventually returning only to find her family sadly broken, each in their own way.

Are we Stuck?

How long does it take to repair our emotional and physical self from our past?  I reflected even more about my own writing, my own sharing and my own stories.  Is it that I have too much time and freedom?  Does that offer me more time to reflect on my past – blaming people and situations and feeling victimized or stuck by my past?  Does that keep me trapped in old emotions?  Does having too many ‘things’ or too much ‘freedom’ make me weak?  Or does it provide me with excuses for not being more than I am? 

Over the years, working with thousands of people, I have heard just about every story that one can imagine.  It’s my belief that all of us have been abused in some way – physically, emotionally, mentally when we were younger or older.  Fathers, mothers, brothers, sisters, uncles, aunts, grandparents, loved ones, cultures, churches, being poor, not educated, working conditions.  I have to wonder – how did Deli get through pure evil and hate to live in the death camps for years?  Looking at this loving woman today is like a breath of fresh air!  All she wants to do is help others.   

I personally became ashamed at how I felt about my life, my book.  Spirit had once again humbled me and showed me that I have so many choices in my life compared to everyone else. I have to stop comparing myself or my path to any other path – I am on my own, alone but not lonely.  Perhaps by staying focused on our path, it helps others to recognize their own paths.  Perhaps we ought to look at our own path, as stepping-stones one by one – never have been here before –creating it anew each day by laying another stone.  Some stones leave trails for others to follow; some are guides for us when we get lost.  It’s never about getting to the end.  It’s about being aware each day as we explore our choices.

Deli has been a great humanitarian and worked her entire life to help others.  She was part of the Baltimore Jewish Council (BJC) and became one of the many speakers for that group.  Her focus was to share with school children – going into schools, talking about what had happened during the Holocaust and always emphasizing how proud and thankful she is to be an American. Later, the BJC hired historians who found what they believed to be inconsistencies in her story.  Deli’s father had served in the Austrian army in World War I and as an enlisted man, not a general.  Deli was also never number-tattooed like many of the Jewish death camp prisoners.  Although these claimed ‘inconsistencies’ were never investigated properly, the BJC banned Deli from sharing her story with the children in schools in the Baltimore area.  They even began to doubt that she was, in fact, a Holocaust survivor. 

I wonder if we could remember every fact from when we were children.  What difference was it that a little girl remembered her father as a general in the army?  Deli was given a dog tag, not a tattoo.  Only later would she be able to prove that Germany did in fact, issue dog tags to some prisoners in some of the concentration camps.  One of the biggest indiscretions was that Deli, as a young woman, had met and married a man in the Theresienstadt ghetto.  Within a very brief time, they were separated and taken to different camps.  After the war they found each other again.  Unfortunately, time and the tortures of concentration camp life had caused her husband to change from a loving, compassionate man into an abusive husband.  Obviously, this became a very private matter for Deli – one she was reluctant to share.  Therefore, in Deli’s eyes, her husband had died.  How can we even imagine what that was like for her – separation, concentration camps, suffering and more?  I believe that many of us have felt as if a person in our life had died when a relationship ended.  It is the dream that dies.  That is often the only way we can make sense or understand what happens.   I find it impossible to accept that the BJC could not forgive Deli Strummer’s inaccuracies and not accept her life’s story 59 years after the events had occurred.  She relives her past each time she shares her story.  Such irony to have the Jewish Council determine that her story is not real – to judge her – to break her heart again – to reject her.  Is it not enough that the Germans judged Deli 60 years ago?  That she must now once again, suffer judgment and rejection by her own friends, even being told that perhaps, the horrific events of her past might not really have occurred?   This is what Deli has gone through.  Over two years after the incident with the Baltimore Jewish Council, Deli is still barred from speaking in the Baltimore area public schools and many institutions will not let her to speak because her credibility was questioned.  All Deli wanted to do was share her story with others and prevent history from repeating itself.  To this day, Deli Strummer still seeks to speak wherever she can and touch the lives of today’s youth.  She is the originator of the foundation called ‘Zarhar Remembrance Fund’, an organization devoted to devoted to Holocaust education. Visit www.zarhar.org for more information about Deli’s story and her foundation.  The Aurich Press, Baltimore, published her book “A Personal Reflection of the Holocaust”.  A video of her story is available.  (410) 339-4619. 

In the Past – or in the Now?

Our experiences over the years have imprisoned us from sharing our self completely with others.  We are stuck and can’t get out of their projections.  I wonder if it is fear we are holding onto that each of us must let go.  If we need others to validate ourselves, we will always be compromised by their ideas of how we should be in their eyes.  Is this the way I am holding on to my book – wanting it to be perfect so I will not be judged?  There are so many truths.  Is it our past that defines who we are, or are we more than our past?  So I guess the question is:  Who speaks for all of the people who have died and cannot tell their story?  At some point we are more than what has been – we are a part of everything plus who we are.


Used Books for Tax Deductions

I am working with Ancient Wisdom Spiritual Centre, ADL in Boone, North Carolina.  This 501 ©(3) not-for-profit organization operates an educational spiritual library. This is a wonderful opportunity for anyone that would like to share. You may send books, audios, and/or videos you no longer want in your personal library and they will have a good home and will provide much information to a lot of individuals. You can mail your items (media mail - inexpensive) to the address listed here. Ancient Wisdom will provide you with a written receipt for your income taxes deductions. You as the donor will place the value on all items. The spiritual library also would love any donations towards operational expenses. Your help is very much appreciated.
Ancient Wisdom Spiritual Centre, ADL
1158 Hwy. 105,
Boone, NC 28607
(828) 268-2684 fax: (828) 264-4757
www.AncientWisdomBoone.com          email: ancientwisdom@charter.net

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