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July 2002 Message from Ken: Spiritual Independence

• Reflections

• One of My Teachers

• Magdalen's Journey
  

REFLECTIONS

I just arrived home from seven weeks on the road: Toronto, Ottawa, and London. My trip has changed me once again. How many different ways can a person look at himself or herself? Answer: 6.5 billion ways not counting other life forms or lifetimes on Earth. Therefore, the answer is "infinite ways, infinite times, forever" — letting go each day, three, five, ten times.

What happens with many of us is that there is no process time before the next thing comes up and we have to let go again. It sure helps to surrender and let go of the idea that you are in control of anything. The tests are so multifaceted that it is an amazing process to be aware of and experience. Many changes and challenges happen simultaneously: holographic convergence.

On my last trip abroad, I found what I had been looking for my whole life — what I came to Earth to do — knowledge that I, and everything around me, had been resisting. I will share this new information with you in the next newsletter. It is going to take me some time to put it into words. Inner knowledge is true power. It allows you to move into pure wisdom where there are no longer any questions.

I received a letter from Magdalen, one of my teacher trainers, (not her real name). She is a young woman in her early twenties and is truly one of the Indigo children who got lost as a kid because of lack of cultural and family support. She awakened and found herself again. I have learned so much from her about walking forward with a pure heart.

Magdalen is a member of a metaphysical group and has been studying for over two years to teach their work. They were alarmed, concerned, and worried about her becoming a facilitator. Instead of granting her the right to teach their work, they delayed it. They told Magdalen that she was spiritually arrogant and that some of her teachings could be dangerous to others because she was speaking of truths that they understood, but felt that other people, like her potential students, were not ready for yet. They were worried that she could hurt others by letting them know these truths. Magdalen did not agree with this, but she agreed to follow their recommendations for additional study and then they would reevaluate her as a potential teacher. She was hurt by this, but did not give up. She felt that if this group did not approve her as a teacher after she followed what they recommended, then she would move on. She had worked hard, with a pure heart, and did want to teach this work.

Some of these "dangerous" ideas she had gotten from me. I felt responsible that she was not allowed to teach this other training and had been confronted in this way. These people used language such as: Their spiritual masters told them what to do, and they must follow what their masters told them.

Magdalen saw this situation for what it was, and I was so proud of her. Sometimes metaphysics and religions can be so petty. It is easy to talk spiritually. It is another world to walk your truth in a world where no one understands you or approves of your path. I am sure this has been true throughout time, and I know that today, regardless, you must walk your talk.

I have had many people in my life who have been my teachers. Magdalen has been a good teacher for me. I found myself a witness to her process when she sent me a letter. I asked her to share her letter in my newsletter and she generously agreed (see below). It is not often that I get to experience the inner journey of one so young, honest, and pure. This young woman walks her talk. I want her to know that any person who questions religious or spiritual norms is usually considered arrogant. As we look at metaphysics and religion today, I would hope that all of us are looking for our truth, and that we are spiritually arrogant, and bold. It appears to me that more and more people are looking inside themselves for their truth and are walking the path alone, not lonely, just waiting for their families to show up.

A few days ago, I received a letter from my thirty-three-year-old son whose last words were, "I have lost all respect for you." Letting go of your kids, family, and loved ones is the hardest. Maybe I should have just gone into the past with him. I just could not go back twenty-nine years and explain why I did what I did. All I could do was to say that I was sorry. I said it hoping that it would help. It did not. It is hard to fill my sonšs ideas of what a father should be after the fact.

Maybe by sharing Magdalenšs letter it will help to heal the past and release the harsh judgments that we make about one another. I just wish that people could be present today in this moment and explore all the wonderful possibilities that are here now. The past is so imprisoning.

Dear Ken Page,

It looks like you are going to give teachings in your home again. I think that that is a very good thing. I was honored to be there in your presence with so many other wonderful spiritual beings at previous trainings. I am glad to hear that you are opening that up again because I know that it was hard for you when so many things went wrong — and the unexpected happened once while I was there at a Teacher Training Course for Heart & Soul Healing before. To be more clear it is really just that the students had issues, and they brought them with them to your home. The energetics became chaotic, making the training very intense. It was still a good training and everybody left with a lot of knowledge, but some came there with belief systems that were highly energetic and that created waves among the group. I think we all learned many lessons together.

So, I see that you have come to terms with all that went on, it is balanced, and you have embraced it with love and vulnerability again. Your sacred space where you live is nice and your horses are really cool. I liked going to California because we went rappelling and camped at your house making fires and playing outdoors. I hope one day to be able to travel there and visit you again and continue on in peace.

A lot has happened through the years and I am so happy. My heart radiates love and compassion when I think about all of the great and wonderful truths I have learned from you. You are in your passion and teaching others to do the same.

The other day I had a session in my home with a client who I had seen a year ago at a workshop. I had forgotten that I had given her one of your books, The Way It Works, and another gift as well. I had forgotten, and a year later, she shows up at my house for a session. It is good to be doing what I love.

We had a wonderful session with her and it was good because I felt more balanced, confident, and grounded than ever. I even got the chance to break a curse and remove a spell that was on her. It was fun and exciting.

I realized I was doing my best, and it was OK to be human and have faults and struggles. I have many and discovered from my session with Janet that I really am doing good work with others in spite of my own weaknesses.

Being a facilitator of healing does not mean that you are super human or a god or some master. You can be all those things, but embracing our own human faults and imperfections is just as important because it keeps us in touch with humanity. So many people in the metaphysical community are very into "Archangels" and "Masters," and that makes one feel inferior; to praise them in such light means that we are less according to metaphysics and religion. Oh well, Archangel Michael says this and Buddha says that, and angels are flighty and out there. To me they seem out of reach. I am here today struggling to be human and these angelic beings or gods seem like the untouchable. So many out there in metaphysics are screwed up because they are thinking they are going to have a god save them or angelic beings and such. They give their power away instead of claiming it.

How does that relate to me being a healer, or a facilitator of healing?

Sometimes people in our society get caught up in the SuperGod Mentality and think that they are not worthy and therefore inferior. So, according to most of our society, since you are not Jesus Christ you cannot be a healer. They limit themselves, and therefore block miracles from happening. I think it is so funny that there are people in this world who actually think that Christ, or so and so according to whatever religion, are the only ones who ever walked this Earth with healing gifts and that there are no others besides them. I feel saddened by this way of thinking. That means that thousands of years later after Christ people today believe there are no healers and no miracles! To me this is no fun! Yikes, that freaks me out. People stopped believing in miracles, this saddens me in a way.

People then look at me as different, because I believe miracles can happen everyday. I do see them with my clients, and society thinks that I am delusional or some sort of airy-fairy-new-age freak, labeling me as abnormal, mentally ill, a witch or something.

In a way, I am extraterrestrial to them, so I must be some kind of god. But the truth is, I am human, too. I live here on Earth. I experience car problems. I have to eat and sleep and care for my house. Unfortunately, there are many complications and struggles. I have had many traumatic experiences and thousands of them at that. I also see tragedy on the news everyday and the potential for disaster in these times is at a peak with the war in Afghanistan and Israel and the United States. War is here, and I can feel it, yet I have this little life, and I am trying to make sense of it all.

So, what makes me a healer? Why am I a Healer?

Because I am here, and I am present. I am a healer because I am able to have compassion for others, because I have experienced the sorrows and pain of this nation and the world, seen the wars, been physically abused, watched people kill themselves over religion, the list goes on, and I made it through shining. Still, I am strong; I am walking this Earth and having fun and laughing at my mistakes or choices and dancing in the moonlight with the wolves. I am a nut and I know it. I choose to see the way to peace. I choose to be here and have compassion, to love myself and be there for others. I am proud of my strength and abilities, and am aware of my faults and embrace them with love, allowing the opportunity for them to change for the best.

So, when clients come to me, I can see them with light heartedness and the strength of God in my soul. I am not going anywhere until I do what I came here to do and that is being present, being joyful, having compassion, dancing, music, and being the grace of God in times of turmoil and pain. I am a healer! I help people. I can make them smile and help them to see that what they are creating is okay, and they have many choices besides the old and tragic choices that have been playing themselves out for thousands of years.

I realized this because things have been so hard for me, and I have been through a lot. I have made it through so many of life's troubles and am still smiling. I have a wonderful tool with Heart & Soul Healing, and I can help people with it when they come to me. I am able to help them because of my level of understanding and my large amount of compassion and my loving and open heart. I would just like to thank you for your friendship, and the courage that you have shown on your path, Ken Page.

It has been a blessing in my life and truly the greatest honor to be here on Earth with you and many others. I see that our paths are similar, and I have a friend :)

I do not know if I have ever worded this to you or not, because I believed that you already knew of my appreciation and the level of sincere happiness I feel because you are an empath. You have been a teacher and friend in my life. Thank you for that. I just feel that it is important to put it out there in the 3D with this letter to make it visible and clear that I am here. This letter is long, and I apologize if it takes too much of your valuable time. I am probably just doing this to prove to you that I understand your work, so you know that I am doing my best as a teacher of Heart & Soul Healing. I hardly ever communicate because it is unnecessary, but every now and then is good just to let you know I am living, practicing, and teaching.

The session with my client assured me that I am going to be there for many more people, and I do not have to force it. When the student is ready the teacher appears, right? Courage. That is what you have shown me.

Another thing ....
I may not have the best job in America, at that I probably am working in one of the most poorly judged, looked down upon cast-out areas in society. I am working as an exotic dancer, and that is considered "bad," "ugly," "dirty," "filthy," "nasty," or just gross. Taking my clothes off in front of a complete stranger and revealing my body parts is not my idea of fun, but it has a good income. I do not judge the men who come in there, and I try my best not to judge anybody at all but to have compassion for them.

The exotic entertainment industry is very screwed up and the people who go to these places have very distorted views on the way that they think a woman should be. It is so crazy how men think that women dressed up in all these flashy and colorful outfits with all this make up on are sexy and considered exotic and attractive. (Exotic all right. We look like a bunch of flashy colored tropical birds trying to mate out there! I laugh.) We look like circus freaks or clowns, it is so funny!

I am in front of all these men; they are projecting, the women are projecting, and it is not fun. I see it as disturbing just like everybody else, I guess. Yet, I have hope because I do not see myself as that. I see everyone with compassion as spirit-soul and see the confusion at my work. I feel that I am changing that environment collectively on some level. I am helping myself to be in a place in the future by working there. I am not getting caught up in the energetics to where I am not clear spiritually. Physically, I see what is going on around me and mentally, I understand what is going on, emotionally, I am sensing the disturbance and Spiritually, I am breathing and helping to transform my life by having compassion for myself and all of the people in that environment with their old and negative views.

Knowing who I am, being love, and centering in my pineal gland has made it easier for me. I believe that my experiences have given me vast insight into the confused and chaotic energetics of male and female energy. I see that both are confused about what to be. Instead of just being who they are, they are exposing themselves to become the projections of others, which in turn makes them sick, and they confuse each other.

I choose to be in the moment and to love myself and have compassion for them all: the men and the women. I believe that I scare them and the men and the women whom I work with are intimidated by my presence. Why? When I look at the word "intimidated" in the dictionary it reads: to make timid or fearful: frighten; especially: to compel or deter by or as if by threats.

So, I understand when I look at it that it means that I am one with everything. I am one with the music, the men at work, and the women, the stage, the ground and the floor, the sky, the trees and the air I breathe. I am not separate from them, either.

They do not see me! I am up there on a stage, physically present, but they cannot feel me. I am everything. I do not want to confuse people. I do not take drugs, drink, or smoke like most others do in that type of environment. I am free from that so I am very clear. I want to help others. I am just waiting for the right moment when I can. I believe I am an aspect of consciousness, and I am also every aspect, and because I have realized this, I have shown up in that environment physically and had compassion for all of it. This is a MAJOR THING!

So many girls in there feel ashamed. And in that society the guys project feelings of jealousy, that the women are not pretty enough or smart enough because one works there, feeling we are different because it is not a "normal job," feelings of being trapped and hopeless, feelings of anger, rage, and frustration — especially with the women. They are suffering. I want to change that, so I became them and I have.

I am helping that consciousness to be more than it is. Most people would just see me as some bimbo dancer, slut, whore, or even worse, if I told them about my job. That is not true, that is not what I am. That is simply a collective projection that is also the feelings that the women feel there everyday. The projections put onto them by society have trapped them, and they think they are stuck. They cannot be honest in society because of the fear of rejection and abandonment. They fear of not fitting in and being judged. There are some strong women in there doing good things for loved ones with the money they make, and they are not hurting anybody. There really is a lot of pain there, because they usually look down upon themselves based on the judgments of society. They are more than that. They are also beautiful and loving and everything else that there is. I am mirroring those aspect for them: I do so many good things; I am talented; I play music; I sing; I take very good care of myself physically; I eat good food; I am trustworthy and educated; I have traveled to many countries to be with different "spiritual" groups to be more loving; I try not to judge others; I am a master of compassion; I am present to be all I can be and more.

So society, please do not judge me, because you limit yourself when you do. You cannot see that I am a divine creator or a spiritual and amazing being. You tie me up, squash me, feed me shit, and complain later that I am not like you when you fail to see me as yourself, one of your own cells, a part of creation. I am not bad until you pin me down and categorize me as such, lock me in the cellar of nasty and perilous things, lock me in that prison where all the bad things go and throw away the key. You hurt me by doing that and then hurt yourself by not accepting me as part of yourself. You will continue to be plagued by my existence until you recognize me for who I am: CREATION.

Have compassion for me and then move on; dance with me, and I write: It is foolish to judge. Judgments are like consciousnesses frozen in time. When you have compassion and are compassion and love, you allow things to flow! If you judge me as bad and fail to acknowledge me then when you go to fly and swim through creation, you will bump into me later like a ship that wants to travel but cannot make it to its destination for there is a very large iceberg blocking the path. Your compassion will melt away the judgments that freeze your reality. If you see it as one you can pass through it like the wind or like the light. I compare judgment to a ship traveling through the water and the water is consciousness and the judgment placed is an extremely massive iceberg that you cannot travel through because it is blocking your path in the water (consciousness). Imagine life like you are on a ship and trying to travel to the other side of the Earth and there is a very large iceberg frozen for miles and miles and you cannot make it past. Your compassion is like the sun that melts it and makes passage instantaneously possible.

I am happy that I am your friend, Ken. Thank you for not being frozen in time and judgment. Bless you on your path.

I am honored to be a teacher of Heart & Soul Healing and a practitioner. I know of my abilities and will use them to be a great service to others. You helped me and were the only person, I believe, who has seen me as a light so that my ship could pass, and I could continue to travel in fun, joy, and spirit. Thank you for not being an iceberg. I am such a funny storyteller. Thank you for listening to me rambling. I have had so many fun times being your student and attending your classes. It is great the work you are doing! I am excited to change things and work with the collective consciousness of this planet when it is ready to change I am there guiding it. Heart & Soul Healing works, and it is FUN!

I love you and thank you for all of your words and also your sense of humor. You are doing great work.

And Ken,
Thank you for your dedication to the truth and helping to melt the icecaps of the Earth Maybe that is why there is all this talk about a pole shift? Change, whatever, it is you. Better have fun doing it or else you are only a miserable old fool.

These prophecies are making everybody sick and filling their heads with helium. They are up in the clouds, and not here on Earth, giving their energies away to fear and doubt, which takes them out of the moment and into panic. I choose to be here now, with love and compassion. All will follow in compassion and a state of illumination and grace when it is ready. I feel that I am at a party and I am waiting for everybody to show up and open their gifts! One day that will happen.

Thank you for being my friend and teacher. May God's great Light always be on your face and your path. When you are God's light, it always is, right?

Right.

Your friend and student,
Magdalen

P.S. I did not mean to lecture you, I guess it is just good to speak the truth and share. I know already that you understand all this. I just felt it was important to express it.

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