Homage to a Friend
The Last Chapter Continues
Old Sexual Projections
Insights on My Relationships
Another Long Night
Putting It All Together
HOMAGE TO A FRIEND
We just heard that a very close family friend and supporter of the spiritual
community, Ahmed Fayed, died on August 8, 2002, in his homeland, Egypt.
Many of you know Ahmed through the brilliant tours he led through Egypt,
sharing his knowledge, expertise, and wisdom. He is loved and will be
I am available for a workshop on the East Coast for December 7, 2002.
We are also booking workshops for next year. Dates in January and throughout
the rest of 2003 are open. If you would like me to give a workshop, a
Practitioner Training, or give private healing sessions in your area and
know of a preexisting group that would be interested, please call us:
Toll free in the United States: 800-809-1290, or 1-209-754-3040. We will
send you a sponsor packet and answer your questions.
THE LAST CHAPTER CONTINUES
The last few months have been emotionally exhausting. I have pushed myself
far past my comfort. Every relationship my work, my friends, my home,
and my family changed. In order for me to change, my Higher Self had
to break down my ego so that I would let go of how I had been holding
on to my life and ideas. I knew immediately that I was in this process
and that it was a prerequisite for new information to come in. I believe
this is how Spirit has done this for many generations.
The shift for me came in London, England, between June 10 and July 8,
2002 while I was staying at the College of Psychic Studies. Established
in 1884, The College is known as a place for spiritual development and
healing, and they were hosting a couple of my workshops. I was also doing
private healing sessions there during the day. The College staff became
my family, and I truly felt at home. My sleeping room, a small 6 x 10
foot hideaway, was on the fourth floor of this beautiful, elegant, old
building in the center of London. The College was busy with lectures and
activities during the day, and at night, I was alone with the ghosts (nice
ones, I might add). I had a lot of help from many realities.
The day I flew in, the group Alternatives sponsored my lecture at St.
James's Cathedral, near Piccadilly. The cathedral was built in the 16th
century, and I had always wanted to speak there. Four hundred people were
present at my lecture and it was one of the highlights of my career. During
my talk, I clearly stated that I was here on Earth to balance the ancient
consciousness of religion.
I first became aware that one of my new/old jobs was to balance the energetics
of religion in December of 2001 after I sent out my newsletter on "The
Seed of Life." Sharing these thoughts created a space for new
information to come to my awareness.
All the people that I attract as clients and students are spiritual and
always have been. They lead spiritual lives today, and their spirituality
has played out in past lives where they participated in different religious
and spiritual paths. They were a part of religious history and pieces
of them were frozen in space.
My clients and students helped me to understand that rigid religious
ideologies, formulated from the Bible, the Koran, and other religious
and spiritual writings and belief systems were holding people and religions
of today in the dynamics of the past. My clients were still energetically
connected to their past religious heritage, and by releasing the religious
/ spiritual ideas that they were holding onto, we were able to release
the rigid patterns of the past and present our ultimate goal being
to free the consciousness of religion.
A short time later, I also understood that if this was my job, then I
would also have to free all the ways that the idea of God was being held
on to and how these ideas were used to justify holy wars, hate, martyrdom,
and murder, both historically and today.
I knew that I had to state my intentions in a special, holy place, such
as St. James's Cathedral. The witness to my declaration was Sharon Hyde,
a friend who flew in from the United States. Sharon had previously shared
events in her life in our June newsletter.
There will always be a witness for every major transformational event
in your life. Witnesses have unconditional love for themselves and a high
level of unconditional compassion for others. A witness has many levels
of depth and can affect time itself. At some point, each of you will be
asked by spirit to support others as they complete their past.
The group at St. James' Church understood my talk. It was perfect and
confirmed my awareness of my job to balance the energetics of religion,
a task of mine since the beginning. Within seven days of my talk, I received
further information that I had been seeking for many years.
OLD SEXUAL PROJECTIONS
During my days in London, I did private sessions with clients at the
College of Psychic Studies. During one session, I worked with a lady who
was taking my Practitioner Training through one of my teacher trainers
who co-founded The British School of Multidimensional Cellular Healing.
She was training to be a Heart & Soul Healing practitioner, had already
had a session, and was ready for the next step. She wore a crystal given
to her by a guru, a powerful Afghanistan general who had started a spiritual
cult group in London. This particular guru had been unethical. He gave
all the group members the same kind of crystal and used the crystal to
enter their bodies and use their life-force energy.
I asked her to remove the crystal and started the clearing work. We worked
together for about forty-five minutes and then a pattern appeared a
million plus projections on the sexual organs of her body. I had never
been so aware of grids or patterns before. They were like spider webs
overlapping each other.
I centered myself and allowed my vibration to dissolve these patterns
it took about half an hour. I realized that the patterns were the projections
that men and woman put on each other powerful human-force, orgasmic
projections. Think about the energy on Earth today: the distorted-perverted-using-raping
energies. Think about the ideas that teenagers today have about sex. What
kind of consciousness does this create?
As I dissolved these patterns on my client, I downloaded information
about the consciousness that represented these distorted patterns. After
the session, I realized that this consciousness is what the Kaula Circle,
spoken of in many mystery schools, was trying to tap into. (I talk about
the left-handed spiritual path and the Kaula Circle in my December
Many times, we will step into a powerful consciousness that changes our
awareness and our vibration. We never know when this will happen. When
you discover one of these consciousnesses, it is important to have a quiet
mind, thus allowing the energy to take a new form. It is also important
not to use or tap into the energy just allow it to flow through you.
Doing this will change your vibration and allow you to objectively interpret
the information you are being given without overwhelming your nervous
system. (The average healer lasts three years before his of her nervous
system burns out. The average massage therapist last five years.)
That night, around midnight, the full understanding of this information
came to me. The chaotic, sexual-energy patterns that I had witnessed earlier
on my client represented the most powerful and charged consciousness known
to humanity. This consciousness was composed of all the energy generated
during any kind of sexual thought or activity trillions of projections
going back into time and space and affecting everyone and all life forms
I understood how people project their thoughts onto each other's sexual
organs and how easy it is to be caught up in these powerful energies.
If someone you have been with projected his or her distorted thoughts,
fantasies, or high emotions onto you, this could leave a pattern that
may possibly attract this consciousness. Carlos Castaneda says that the
energy of sexual encounters can stay with us for up to seven years. I
realized that it would be impossible to balance the male and female energy
within us without also balancing the consciousness of the outward sexual
projections of the 6.5 billion people on Earth. I could see how my friend
Magdalen was helping with
these projections, also.
People seeking power have tried to control this consciousness, which
is a key ingredient to creation. If they mastered it, they would be able
to control others, as well as time and space. (I will share more on this
idea later.) By not using this energy, but allowing it to flow through
me, it could take another form, which could free the sexual projections
that have been holding us.
"Only a person who wanted
to find the stone,
find it but not use,
would be able to get it."
Professor Albus Dumbledore
Headmaster at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry
from the movie, "Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone."
INSIGHTS ON MY RELATIONSHIPS
Back in London, locked up in my castle for a month, I had a lot of time
to think about my life, my relationships, and my family. I was worried
about four of my six children who were experiencing digestive and reproductive
organ problems. Their problems seemed to start at the same time that I
had a hernia operation two years ago. I spent days thinking about how
my work and my physical problem could have affected them. Then it became
clear to me.
I was loving my girls more than they were loving themselves, and by loving
them this way, I was energetically saying that they were not perfect.
I realized that love is fluid and ever changing. I knew that Creator was
fluid, but I had not made this connection about love. By loving them more,
I was holding them in place and there was a transfer of energy between
us. I also saw how the energy in London could be affecting them. I felt
deeply satisfied freeing my children from this old consciousness. Changing
this energy for a split second allows for more choices to individuals
caught up in this consciousness. If people make similar choices to the
ones they made in the past, the consciousness reconstructs in a similar
way, but the possibility of making a different choice is still available.
Having a choice is the greatest gift one can give to another. It is called
My four youngest daughters have belly piercings and wear "Britney Spears"
style clothes that expose their abdomens. Do men and boys project their
thoughts onto these areas? The same thing goes for cleavage. The list
goes on. In many cultures, people use artistic, personal display to attract
people to them, but what energies does this attract?
I allowed myself to become fluid and met my children where they were.
Our love then became fluid. My love was there for them, but not holding
them. We became partners in a fluid dance of unconditional love.
How do you love yourself more than you have been loved? How many times
do you have to love yourself before you believe it?
ANOTHER LONG NIGHT
Next, I received insight into the dynamics of my relationship with my
partner. If you have read any of my books or newsletters, you know that
I believe we energetically continue to attract people who reflect our
own issues. My remaining issues are trust, power and control, and acceptance.
I have known that these are my issues for years and it has helped me interact
with people around me, but when it came to my partner,we were continually
struggling with these dynamics.
In a workshop that I had given a few months back, a woman who attended,
a practicing Buddhist for thirty years, told me that I was teaching the
Kalachakra Tantra rite of initiation. There are only four people authorized
by the Dalai Lama to teach this rite. I know that I have been receiving
information from some very old spiritual consciousnesses: Buddhism, Taoism,
and Shamanic traditions. This knowing has always been with me, but I had
to allow myself to be more than the idea of the teachings. (I might add
that the Dalai Lama and I had not spoken of this before.)
I got a book on the rite and studied it. The material was a little confusing.
Similar to the Bible, it had been translated over thousands of years.
What I found was that there were many different initiations. As all of
you are aware of, if you are not in alignment with the vibration of the
initiation, nothing will happen. When you are ready, this vibration will
align itself with you. We are alone for most of our important initiations,
whether they are "witnessed" or not.
I read the section titled: "The Thirty-seven Practices," by the Bodhisattva
Tok-may-sang-bo. I felt that if I was not in alignment with these practices,
then I could not be teaching this work. I looked over the material for
days and realized that I was doing almost everything. There were a few
points that I was not in alignment with, but I was not sure that I understood
the true meaning of the translated text. For example, I believe that if
you take on someone else's pain, you are not honoring them as a creator.
I found an important clue in "The Thirty-seven Practices:"
If one becomes accustomed to the afflictive emotions,
They are hard to overcome through their antidotes.
Therefore, it is a practice of Bodhisattvas to overcome
The afflictive emotions of desire and so forth immediately upon their
first being introduced.
The dynamics of the afflictive emotions, or as I felt them, the addictive
emotions, were part of what I was playing out with my partner. This emotion
was the energy I came into at my conception, gestation, and birth.
I met with my mother when I got home to talk about her feelings and ideas
about where she and my father were when I was conceived. They were very
young when they married and were deeply affected by the war. My mother
told me that I was a wanted, loved child, and my parents were very excited
about having me. I wanted to understand their world at that time: the
influence of her Italian Catholic heritage, the energy in the U.S. and
England after WW II (where my Dad was a radio operator on a bomber), their
personal passions, their money issues, religious and cultural ideas, and
their relationship with each other
My father became a tough guy in the war and this energy stayed with him
when he drank. I never shared with anyone that he would repeatedly tell
me how he would announce in bars that he could "out drink, out f__k, and
out fight any man." I believe this is the energy of anger and rage, and
power and control. I have known for years that these are the energies
that I have to balance.
For more than thirty years, when I met with my father, he would shake
my hand, tell me to squeeze, and say, "You still don't have it." I realized
that I have been looking for "it" my entire life. The only understanding
I had come to was knowing that "it" was not who I was. I did not know
how to be a man.
My parents divorced, and my father moved out of my life when I was very
young. I realize now, that after my parent's divorce, I may have reminded
my mother of the old addictive emotions that were energetically around
my parents in their relationship. Both my father and mother's energy must
have been a part of my vibration. However, I ended up with more complicated
issues with my mother and the women in my life than with men. With men,
I always felt competitive and had to be better than they were. With woman,
however, I had issues of trust, power and control, and acceptance that
were overlaid by the consciousnesses I found in London.
PUTTING IT ALL TOGETHER
After my mother and I talked, I realized the different energies that
made up the emotions that were affecting me. The consciousness that I
became aware of in London, the consciousness of sexual projections, was
a key to understanding the emotional patterns that my partner and I were
playing out. I realized that projected sexual energy could have affected
everyone at conception. This awareness, along with no longer projecting
my ideas about love onto others, changed the charge of the emotions and
they dissipated into calmness, which I believe equals innocence, the true
vibration of Creator.
Balancing the sexual projections of the past and our own issues around
our male and female natures, would free our inner male and female selves,
and we could create anew, which could be a closer expression of humanity
and God becoming One. Balancing and releasing the ancient consciousnesses
of religion and God, allows us to discover and claim our own Godselves,
and be in the consciousness of fluid love. Being in the consciousness
of fluid love is the vibration we use in our own immaculate conception.
You can read more about the idea of the Immaculate Conception in my
December 2001 newsletter.
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