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March 2000: Lost in My Dreams

*How to See Auras
*Living Light Language

I had total right knee replacement surgery on December 17, 1999, and have been in recovery ever since. It's now March and my leg is much stronger. I had been walking in pain for 37 years. I told my mind there was no pain, but I do believe my body had to deal with that energy anyway. Today it's over and now I'm part human and part bio-man. Stainless steel and Teflon. It's strange to know that my knee is the strongest part of my body -- it used to be the weakest.

Since I moved back to California I've been helping care for my Grandmother. She's 99 years old and living in a rest home. She had taken care of herself until last year when she broke her hip. She re-passed her driver's test at 93. My aunt worked very hard to get her into a wonderful facility that's very close to where we live. I go there several times a week at 11 am, take her for a ride in her wheel chair, feed her lunch, help her go to the bathroom and put her back to bed - she's not strong enough to walk or be up any longer than that. My Grandma has lost her short term memory so our conversations last about 30 seconds and then we repeat them. And repeat them. The other day she had a bad dream. She saw thousands of newborn babies being taken to a field and left there for the animals. She couldn't believe that in this day and age this could be happening. She said it was the worse thing she had ever seen and was truly shaken. She talked about it the whole time I was with her. I kept telling her it was a dream. She kept telling me how real it was.

This nursing home has been one of the biggest tests of my life. How did all these people get this way? Most of them seem to be prisoners in their bodies, if not their minds. I think of myself as a healer and yet I've been overwhelmed with emotion and the reality of just how small I am. In my classes, I always say that if a person asks me for help, I do my best to help. The other day, a lady at the rest home looked me in the eye and asked me to help her and take her away from there. I could do nothing.

Being in recovery for my knee and visiting the rest home has been overwhelming. Boundaries and finding a safe place in an unsafe world are major issues for me and my family. How do I support my Grandmother? Some days she's happy and delighted with her home and on other days she is so unhappy. She tells me how she wants to go to God and God's not there for her any longer. Why doesn't He take her to a better place? She asks me what she did to deserve this. There is so much work to do in our world. There are so many places were there is no love -- just bad dreams.

Last week I got an email from a spiritual group that I've been with for years. They told me that because I continued to associate with a person that they had problems with, they did not want to associate with me anymore either. It was very sad to loose my "friends." Another dream.

The other day a very important spiritual person told me that they didn't like what I was teaching because it went against their teaching. And if I would stop sharing that information, they would help me get my new book, The Heart of Soul Healing, published. Another bad dream.

We are all being challenged on what's true for us and on who is going to be and not going to be in our lives. Staying true to myself is my current challenge. Walking my truth is my calling -- not looking back any longer, hoping my friends and family will be there for me. Saying good-bye to friends and family -- letting go of how they used to be -- and being there in a whole new way is my present focus.

So much in life just doesn't make any sense. Some of my realities are becoming so transparent that it's easier to let go of them. Will we have to let go of everything? And what does that mean? Each day that I go see my Grandmother I will do my best to show her that God does care -- that God does love her deeply.

Tomorrow I will walk my path alone -- without some of my old friends -- but with a new step, changing my world with my compassion for them. Tomorrow I will continue to share my truth -- even if it means not being published.

Please don't be hard on yourself. Do the best you can to be in alignment with your own truth and know that God hears you when you listen to your own heart. Everything is changing forms. It's your love that will create a new world. I believe in you. Realize it has all just been a dream. Let's wake up today and walk together as brothers and sisters. Let's stop and take a moment -- a new one -- and love each other for our uniqueness.

How to See Auras & Living Light Language
Being Who We Really Are Enables Us To Access Other Dimensions

As I walk on my path of spiritual growth, questions come up, just as they do for all of us. As I wondered how I could find the needed answers, my higher self said that I would be channeling information that would assist me on this path. How would this information come across? Would I be aware of what I was channeling, or would I be a trance channel, unconscious of what was said? I hoped I would become a conscious channel. The idea of having to listen to a tape of myself to find out what I had said was pretty amusing. Would many of us even do that? Or would we share important truths and then lack the time to listen to them?

After a few days, I started to understand how I would channel: the more I stayed in my passion and loved myself, the more easily I could achieve the energetic vibration of the information itself, allowing the energy to flow through me. Then I realized that this is what many of us are already doing. My higher self said that we have all chosen to be conscious channels: to be awake and to channel a new energy or vibration so that others can recognize that quality in themselves.

Now that I have been channeling, I can say that being a conscious channel feels like standing in an energetic gate or portal. It means vibrating highly enough to hold two realities open. There are actually many different gates, as well as different symbols and sacred geometries. Each time a person looks at a symbol, something happens inside; a little spark goes off. These sparks are one kind of gate; they are gates into one's mind that release energy or knowledge when the person is ready to receive it.

The ability to look and listen inwardly for information, as with channeling, can be improved by practicing to see auras and the Living Light Language, the Akashic Records that hold all of life's events and sensations. Just for a moment, close your eyes and put your forefingers on the outermost upper edge of your eyelids. As you do this, you will likely see colors or shapes on each side of your eyes. Bring the patterns on each side together, into the center of your vision. Keep focusing until the patterns from both sides match. This is an easy way of balancing the right and left halves of the brain, which is important in communicating with one's higher self. The more open you are to receiving any and all information that comes to you, the easier it will be to grasp the concepts and knowledge as a whole.

Once the pattern is balanced, keep focusing, and you may see geometric forms coming toward you in sheets. These are sheets of Living Light Language coming in. Be open to receiving any and all information that comes in that may be in other modalities, like spoken language or feelings. By continuing to focus, you may see through the different layers, and both the information and your experience will become holographic.

What I look for is a pure, bright, neon-blue color that feels fluid. This is how the center of creation appears to me. When information comes in, it will come as a complete concept rather than as just one piece. This is what I mean when I say that information is holographic. The more open you are to receiving any and all information that comes to you, the easier it will be to grasp the concepts and knowledge as a whole.

Seeing auras helps to open the mind in other ways. To practice, get four colored sheets of paper: red, blue, green, and yellow. They should be 81/2 x 11 or 11 x 14. For the fewest shadows, use a room that is lighted from the back and has white or light-colored walls. Stay away from florescent lighting.

Start with the red paper, having a helper put it up against the wall. Gaze at the center of the paper while letting your eyes go slightly out of focus. Do not use a hard stare. Focus for two or three minutes, then have your helper remove the paper while you continue to focus on the same spot on the wall. You should see a faint after-color, which is the complementary color of the original colored sheet of paper. Red, for example, will leave a green glow on the wall.

Continue doing the same with the other sheets of colored paper, using yellow last. This exercise retrains your eyes to see the faint color images, or auras, around people and plants. As a final exercise, have your helper put his or her hand up against the wall. You should be able to see the prana (life force) energy radiating from your helper's fingers.

The question one needs to ask is whether his or her body is energetically prepared to allow the increased energy of these techniques to flow through. Because the DNA holds all the knowledge of the universe, one can find the answer to this question within. I believe that outside information can sometimes keep us from knowing our own truths, so I try to keep the wisdom of all the information I have gathered but let go of the rigid structure that limits my capacity to allow new truths to come in.

Keeping this in mind, a person can more easily see if she or he is ready to communicate with these high energies. If not, the solution is remaining in one's passion and loving oneself, for by doing so, anyone can raise his or her personal energy, and as the vibrations rise within, these energies will channel through ever more easily.



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