September 2001 : A Dry Season for Prayer
The Day the Sky Turned Gold
The last two weeks in August were very challenging in California. At 6:30 AM, Monday morning, my neighbor called to warn that a wild fire was headed my way and that we should prepare to evacuate. Her husband was a volunteer firefighter and they had gotten the alert early. On Sunday afternoon a fire had started in San Andreas, and was burning out of control up the canyons in our direction. The Leonard fire of Calaveras County was virtually burning in our backyard.
I immediately hooked up the horse trailer and loaded feed and supplies for the horses. News about the fire's progress both by radio and television was not up to date.A road block had been set up. People and animals were actively being evacuated in this area -- horses were being lead out by hand and cars and trucks piled high with belongings formed a long procession.
A small group of town people had gathered to watch the fire in a field that was being set up as a staging area for fire equipment and personnel. A huge black, gray, and orange wall of smoke towering 8000 - 10,000 feet into the air boiled and billowed in front of us. The news was not good at this point. After turning on the sprinklers to soak the land and the roof, I began asking: Do I need this?
As I looked around my home at objects gathered over years and years, I remembered the long days of the 1991 Oakland Hills fire in California. I was living in the Oakland hills at the time and that fire destroyed hundreds of homes. In the early morning I was working outdoors with the horses. I could see the wind swirling in four different directions. It looked chaotic, like energy ready to explode, trying to take a new form. I could feel that something was going to happen. I believe suppressed energy or thoughts will take a new form at some point. The fire was just like I had in Oakland.
The Oakland fire felt very different from the fire I was now facing. In the Oakland fire there was a presence, a feeling in the early dawn like you would feel before a battle. There was no fear as I walked around my home - there was no sadness. Things were just things. I had only the moment.
White ash started falling like snow from a gold and orange sky. The weird quality of the light made everything look surreal. For over a year I had been practicing unsuccessfully to make vabhuti (holy ash) with my hands. What strange reality had I created?
I waited by the radio for the fire reports that were now coming every half hour. Emergency phone lines for information on the fire were always busy. In the early evening I drove back to the road block to talk with policemen. They were very generous with their time, sharing the information that they had gotten form the California Department of Forestry (CDF) with every car of worried people that drove up. They, too, lived in the area and some of them had already been evacuated from their homes.
At this point, with other fires burning in California, I was at the mercy of the weather and the winds. Air support had been moved to more critical fires and ground crews alone were battling the fire into the night as it burned out-of-control through the canyons. Firefighters were working around the clock to protect property and build fire lines. That was all they could do as the fire raged on.
As night approached and the winds and summer heat had quieted, the policemen told me the fire had "laid down" and was now a "sleeping dragon" until tomorrow when the heat and winds would make it take off again. We could rest for the night. No more evacuations were planned. The next days would be critical and it all depended on what the weather would bring.
Emotionally and physically drained, I slept deeply that night and got up early the next day to hear the current news on the radio and to check the animals. How was the smell of smoke and thickness of the ash filled air affecting them? I sat on the porch and talked to the hummingbirds about what they thought about the fire. They gave me no answer. They were very focused on their morning sugar feed and squabblings.
In my last two newsletters I wrote about taking your power and being powerful . This experience gave me a deeper appreciation of what being in my power meant. I felt I needed to surrender to the moment and reflected on what I could do. I knew I couldn't direct the winds away from my home because it could affect someone else, so I got quiet in my mind and still in my body, and it became clear to me that this was exactly what I wanted the wind to do -- to be quiet and rest, to be still. I became the wind dancing around and within the fire dragon. I could feel the energy around me become gentle and quiet. For the next three days I spent time asking the wind to be still, to let the fire-dragon sleep.
By becoming one with the wind and the fire, I could feel the out-of-control rage of the dragon dissipate. It took all my energy and focus to be fully present during this experience.
By Saturday evening, with quiet winds and moderate temperatures, the fire was fully contained and under the control of the fire fighters. It would not get to my home. Ten homes and ten outbuildings were destroyed. Three hundred homes had been evacuated. Over 5100 acres burned. The loss of wildlife was incalculable.
After writing my last newsletter about power, it took only
five days before Spirit tested me in what I had written. I realized that
the dragon has always been a part of me. It has been a great test to find
peace with both my inner and outer dragons.
Third Eye of Horus Mystery School