There needs to be a safe place where men can go to learn how to express themselves, be open, and love themselves, and then be able to share all this with their mates. We will call this New Man's School, where men can let go of all the emotions and ideas that they have been deluged with their entire lives. A man-child learns how to be a man from their families, friends, teachers, religions, and the media. We learn what we have to do to fit in as a man in our society. No wonder we're confused. What messages are we giving to our children?
One of the most important parts of this question is what do we teach them about love and sex. I got very confused throughout my life with these feelings. I thought sex was love. I know how silly that sounds. There's no excuse other than to say that my penis had more power over me than my heart. Perhaps that should be another class in our school: How to Love Without Screwing It Up.
So here I am today, 53 years old, and I've been everything from a millionaire to a healer and now I'm just a man. I've been in so many relationships that my family is embarrassed for me and the Catholic Church kicked me out. All I can say is that now I understand the difference between love and sex.
I have always been a very powerful man and sex was an important part of this old equation. Power has changed for me today. There is a quiet inward knowing that feels like pure power or energy. It's energy that began as sexual/survival energy and then became sexual/creative energy and now is purely creative energy. And the strange thing is you would never use it on or against another being.
In 1995, I was at the airport in Stockholm. A woman walked by and I felt the deepest love for her. I knew her. I knew all about her. These feelings shocked me. I lowered my eyes thinking, "What does this mean?" I looked up again and saw another woman walk by. I loved her as deeply as I love my wife. Then I realized that this is happening to all of us. We are becoming love. We don't need another person to identify who we are or to make us feel good. If we choose to be in a relationship, it's because we like and love another and find that by being in this space together there is great passion and the endless energy to create together. The biggest challenge is that you both need to be in your own passion. This is much easier said than done.
By now, many of us have given up on our passion. Feelings of passion can take you out of your comfort zone and can push you further than you ever dreamed of before. I believe that when you are in that place and you come together with your mate, you both totally open.
For me, being a man is expressing my feelings about my inward and outward worlds. It's being open and allowing my comfort zone to expand, to trust myself and do the things that support a healthy place to live and create in, to love myself unconditionally and have unconditional compassion for my mate, family and others, not to judge them and to make choices that feel good to me, to do the best not to lie or be dishonest to myself or anyone. To ask for my lessons to be creative in my physical world so I may better understand the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual aspects of what I create in my life. To be physically passionate with my body, mind and soul, everything I do in my world and to have choices about who I want to have in my life. To continue to be physically healthy, exercise, eat right rest and do the best at whatever I choose in my life. To allow the moment and time to become enriched by just being love. To love what I don't like or understand about myself and when I feel challenged, to face this feeling and flow with it. I guess for myself, it's the challenge of letting go of my old beliefs and playing with new feelings and ways of being and to ask for what want and to give quality time to myself, my family and my path.